Sunday, February 4th, 2007
i didn’t know that all this time, i grew up with the
attached dirt
i can’t even realize how huge and how annoying the dirt was
people looking at me with the strange look on their face
now i know, that’s because they all have seen the dirt…
i’d been carried around with me,
maybe since the day i was born
and maybe it’s all over me
all over my body… maybe
everybody saw that dirt,
everybody but me
i kept telling them that there was nothing wrong with me
and when i got upset, i desperately yelled at them who’d
tried to pointed at my face
maybe they just tried to let me know about the presence of
my dirt
i kept yelled at them, "who d h*ll are you? thinking
that u know me better than myself?"
i felt like my head is gonna explode sometimes … no, it
had happened many times!
i always tried to defense all the incoming attacks
it’s obvious that they will kept saying what they wanna say
and i foolishly blabbed out a thought about myself
so frustrating… and then i got tired, finally…
and in my silence moment, i let go all anger…
i released my pain,
i was beginning to hear voices. sounds strong but tender
it said, "reflect your self!"
and i repeated in doubt, "reflect myself? … on
what?"
it said (again, this time calmer), "go reflect
yourself…"
i still didn’t got what it meant
and at the same time there was a
crystal-clear-almost-like-frameless mirror right in front of me
and it gave me the sheerest reflection i had ever saw
i saw me… only me
standing there with the dirt
all over me
what took me so long to realize, i brought the DIRT with me
all this time
i grew up with the attached dirt
i saw me… in tears
full of painful feeling, remembering my thoughtless past
yet so grateful, for gave me such an honest reflection of
myself
and i saw what everybody had saw
only this time, there’s no more anger nor pain
“…treasure
your heart, for it can be the most genuine mirror
with the
truest reflection you
could ever see…” ica@01.02.07
